Author Archives: Joe

About Joe

Writer down of things, sometimes about video games. Follow me to hear about all sorts of stuff: https://twitter.com/Rigellian

Call of Duty: World War 2 – Me? Buy? Why?

I am considering buying Call of Duty: World at War, there I said it. I have not bought a Call of Duty game since Call of Duty Modern Warfare 3. That’s 6 years of Call of Duty abstinence and it has barely felt like a day. That isn’t some proud statement about the passage of time, it’s more of an indictment of just how little the later series entries have tempted me. And to be honest, I mostly bought Modern Warfare 3 and Black Ops through chasing a feeling, the feeling that Modern Warfare, World at War and to some extent Modern Warfare 2. Continue reading

A Few Games You Can Play Right Now… If You Want…

We’ve all been there. Nothing to do all day, a look through your steam library reveals nothing of too much interest despite the huge amount of unplayed titles, you walk over to your multiple consoles, have a look what has actually been installed and is immediately playable and nope… nothing you actually want to play. Continue reading

Rediscovering Runescape: The Return

So, since a long time has passed since my original rediscovering of Runescape I have decided to dive back into the nostalgia free world following the announcement that the game will be coming to mobile – which I think, for Old School Runescape could be pretty great, enabling you to grind away woodcutting while you’re on the bus. Continue reading

Timesplitters Rewind: What We Know So Far

Fan of the Timesplitters series? Did that trailer leave you deeply unsatisfied? Are you curious what this mysterious Timesplitters Rewind is exactly? Well you are in the right place, today I will look into the information we have regarding Timesplitters Rewind and piece together what exactly we can expect. Continue reading

Football’s Coming Home: World Cup 2018 – Uruguay

After Mark Noble laid a beat down on Albania,  *cough* with help from my own tactical changes *cough*, we find ourselves up against a much sterner oppositions, a team with two world cup’s to their name, one more than us! That cannot stand! Theirs are older so count for less I guess, but ours is getting a bit dusty, that’s why they hired yours truly – that and lack of other suitable candidates.

Expectations back home are raising a bit, although ITV have got Henderson on their panel and I’ve heard he’s been talking a lot of smack about me, so I’ve been mostly watching BBC. Mark Noble did little to handle national expectations, appearing on Good Morning Britain singing “Vindaloo” with a bunch of school kids from Bethnal Green lower, ending with picking up the smallest child, looking him straight in the eyes and saying “I’m gunna bring it home for you little Johnny” before crying and shouting “come on England at the camera”, sufficient to say his 20 leadership is a blessing and a curse.

Back to the hard stuff. Managing England. Having a quick look at the Uruguay team isn’t doing too much to help my nerves…

 

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Strikers aren’t bad

A look at the Uruguay team reveals something straight away… strikers ain’t bad. Cavani and Suarez can go without any introduction. Outside of those two, Gimenez and Godin form a solid partnership in central defence. Outside of those two areas, I think we are stronger, but those are two particularly important areas, especially if they play direct and bypass their pretty weak midfield. However, it’s not like we have a strong midfield.

Looking at the competition stats, Cavani is joint-second top goalscorer with four goals, one more than our top scorer Rashford. De Arrascaeta of Uruguay tops the assists, he isn’t in the above and seems to play either central attacking midfield or left wing, so I am braced for a change of formation from Uruguay.

 

 

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Well well…

With the USA somehow beating Germany in the quarter-finals, have our chances of bringing it home improved? Or have our chances of embarrassingly being eliminated by America?

That being said, we pull through against Uruguay today, I would love the USA, show ’em who’s boss (us, we are, in case you didn’t get that from our weak displays).

Anyway, getting ahead of myself here is the team for today’s game:

 

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Okay, hear me out here….

I know, not the 4-2-3-1! I feel I have to go with something different given our underperformance, but there is more thought here than that – just a little more though. Given our attacking full-backs, I figured a four at the back formation would leave our two centre-backs too exposed to Cavani and Suarez, with this, we should have an extra man, at the cost of the wide areas. For that reason, we will need a big game from both Rose and Clyne. I am hoping at the other end Alli and Kane can occupy the two centre backs whilst Lallana causes trouble for the two deep-lying midfielders. Oh, and I am hoping Noble nets an hat-trick (maybe even a double hat-trick).

I guess all we can do is see how this pans out. I think the gamble is warranted given how our tactics have faired recently, needing in-game adjustments, here’s hoping this is strong from the off. Might even surprise them…

 

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Of course

Obviously, Uruguay aren’t playing the tactic we saw earlier, instead, they are running with this 4-4-2 narrow diamond shape. It should allow us to do better out wide, but the attacking trident may cause our back three some problems, it may be worth dropping Noble back into the space, and moving Lallana further back also, but we will see.

Kick Off:

20′ – Not too much has happened. Uruguay have edged possession, I think it may be worthwhile to switch to counter to ensure some solidity.

29′ – England work a good crossing opportunity for Clyne, unfortunately, Kane heads wide.

38′ – Stones gives a silly foul away on the edge of the box, picking up a yellow card. The free kick has a little too much on it – just over.

41′ – Suarez works a shooting opportunity but Hart gets down to save.

Half-time:

 

The in-game commentator described the half as tepid, and I’m inclined to agree. We need something else, we just aren’t creating enough. To try to remedy this I am going to lean on what we did last time out: push higher, press harder, play slightly narrower to exploit the wings also. We will be sticking on counter. If there is no real change, I will be looking to get Rashford on, I will have a look at the team, maybe change the shape again when this happens.

With all that said, team-talk over, we will be getting back out there for the second half… let’s hope we win it ey?

Second-half:

53′ – We get in down the right-hand side as a sliding pass from Alli finds Clyne, he crosses deep to Kane, who’s headed is straight at the keeper.

54′ – A nice passing move from England finds Alli free, unfortunately, his shot is easily saved.

58′ – Stones is tired and isn’t having the best of games, Kane just picked up a knock. Double change? For now, Jones will come on for Stones, let’s see how Kane handles the knock.

66′ – Kane doesn’t seem to be recovering all too well, Rashford will take his place.

71′ – Not even on for that long and Rashford finds space behind the Uruguay defence, Lallana finds him, but for the third time this game we fire straight at the keeper. Better signs though.

73′ – After a long passing move starting all the way from Jones, Alli finds Rashford, free again, but he fires straight at the keeper… again.

85′ – An excellent Cavani through ball finds Suarez, free behind the England defence after a deep run, he is one-on-one with Hart, goes for the chip and…. OVER! And wide… wover.

87′ – Just before that move, Smalling picked up a twisted ankle and will have to come off. This means we will have to change shape. Oxlade-Chamberlain is on for him and we switch to the ol’ 4-2-3-1.

Annnddd

Full-time:

We were better in that second half, but still 0-0… With Oxlade-Chamberlain on, I will look to use a little more width and hopefully we can create something, anything! Well… anything Rashford won’t kick straight at the keeper. It turns out we do not appear to have the fourth sub for extra time thing yet, or at all.. which is a shame, my team are knackered, and we have quite a few yellows.

 

 

 

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Sleepy, sleepy team

It has been a very tense game so far if that hasn’t been conveyed here, and I feel whoever scores takes this given the fatigue of both sides. Hopefully, that side is us. And let’s not with penalties yeah?

Extra-time (1st half):

92′ – Oh no…

 

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1-0: Uruguay take the lead through Cavani

The worst possible start, Cavani latches onto a Laxalt cross, that was allowed way too easily, Cavani finds acres of space as Jones for some reason runs away? Either way, we find ourselves 1-0 behind.

This changes everything, we are going to have to throw everything at them. Well, now I hope I’m wrong for predicting the first team to score will win…

105′ – And…

 

 

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Wilshere off

Wilshere has a Beckham moment. Picking up his second yellow with a completely needless challenge. That makes this a whole lot harder… It’s also a shame because Wilshere has been a decent player for us, I wouldn’t want him taking the fall back in England, that should be Jones and definitely not me… right guys? right?

Extra-half-time-time

Well… things went wrong really quickly didn’t they? We need to try to find a way back into this… We are going to give it everything we can in this last few. I’ve shifted back to the same shape we started the game with, but with two centre-backs. Oxlade-Chamberlain has come infield and can hopefully cause some chaos.

Let’s just see what happens… please… please score England… I’ll take penalties now…

Extra-time (second half):

107′ – A great shot from Lallana is well saved. It was goalbound for sure.

109′ – Uh…

 

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1-1: Rashford!

A nice bit of play by Oxlade-Chamberlain allows him to find Lallana, who in turns picks out Rashford who tries his best to shoot straight at the keeper, but it finds its way in anyway! We are back in this! The problem is now, do we go for it, or do we sit back? Uruguay are buckling, let’s give it a minute or two, try to grab another… famous last words…

114′ – A cross from Rose finds Chamberlain who heads well, but the keeper is equal to it. We go straight to the other end where Suarez’s shot is saved well by Hart…

116′ – Suarez is found with a through ball by Godin, he is once again one-on-one but Hart saves. Another chance squandered by the best player on the pitch. The warning is noticed though, dropping to counter.

Full-time of extra-time

Penalties. You know the thing about England and penalties right? You must do, if not here, that should fill you in, and also give me my team talk. I’ll just show the boys this video and say don’t do that, simple.

There is one thing those teams didn’t have though… Mark Noble, the secret weapon.

 

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The list

Yes, that is right, Joe Hart is one of our best penalty takers, that is how screwed we are here… I don’t want him to be taking one though with 1 finishing, not sure how much of a difference that makes, but surely Danny Rose and Chamberlain are better options. Mark Noble will be leading the takers though, if he tucks away, the team might just follow suit.

Deep breath.

Penalties:

And first up is Noble, he steps up, chest puffed, stern looking, a single bead of sweat rolls down his face…

And he misses! Tame penalty and the keeper saves to the right.

Suarez then steps up and scores… 1-0 Uruguay.

Rashford then steps up… come on England…  and for fuck sake Rashford, he kicks it straight at the keeper… well slightly to the right… but the keeper was standing there.

Cavani steps up… 2-0 Uruguay…

Just… typical England.

And Danny Rose misses! Well… this is it for Uruguay… score this and they win and also make England a meme.

 

But Pereira misses, which is just tempting to get my hopes up, but I refuse.

Dele Alli steps up… AND BLOODY MISSES!

Four penalties, FOUR! missed, has anyone had that before? Jesus Christ England… maybe that team talk made them nervous.

 

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The meme team

As Dele stands there dejected, with the rest of the England team behind crying you can just about make at me, the manager, laughing at them Big Sam style for being so England. Unbelievable, four penalties missed out of four. I just… need a minute.

m0whfg

So, I guess that is that for World Cup 2018. Not the ending we had hoped for, but maybe the one we deserved given some of our performances out here in Russia, a quarter-final is okay. We had some highs, we built up hope, we scored some goals, probably more than England have at a World Cup in a while, but ultimately what this world cup will be remembered for is Noble making a small child cry, and us missing four bloody penalties in a shoot-out.

Anyway, it’s been a good world cup for me, and I’ve enjoyed your support both on here and on Reddit. So with that said, what do you think our next step should be? Get to Euro 2020? Quit the England gig and take a club job? Go and turn Scotland into a global super power? Let me know what you think.

Till next time (where ever that may be).

38712-2

 

 

 

Four bloody penalties missed out of four… Even for England, this is a new low…

 

 

Football’s Coming Home: World Cup 2018 – Albania

After powering (read: scrapping) through the group stage we found ourselves a reasonably favourable draw – Albania. I say reasonably because now the stakes are much higher. We win, we meet expectations; we lose, well… I might have to move to Scotland, and I talked a lot of smack about them during the qualifiers…

So in order to play down expectations I’ve been making an effort in the UK press to talk up Albania as a footballing powerhouse, they have massive players… like… Granit Xhaka’s less good brother, that full-back who plays for Napoli, Lazio’s backup goalkeeper, Veton Berisha (a striker who wears number six? Heathen) and a few other players. I think this is something Roy Hodgson screwed up at Euro 2016, managing expectations.

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Honestly? I know three of them…

With the English public now questioning my judgement more than ever let’s get into our side. One second…

World Cup News!*

Germany beat Mexico on penalties, and Spain has beaten plucky underdog DR Congo PhD.

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WTF HAPPENED?!?!

In other world cup news, USA and Austria played out a bloodfest, a game with 11 yellow cards, 4 red cards and 28 fouls and somehow the USA pulled through (if we get through against Albania, I’d quite like a run at them).

Okay, back to England.

Not like that, we haven’t been knocked out yet, jeez.

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This formation will work this time… right?

Once again we will be going with the 4-2-3-1, I just still feel it is the most effective shape against teams of this calibre… despite that being proven wrong two games in a row. This is naive, but I don’t like to be too reactionary. With that said, if it doesn’t work out by the 30-40th minute I will change it.

For the personnel today, a few players are starting to get fatigued and so have been rotated. These players are Shaw and Stones who are replaced by Smalling and Rose. Lallana comes in for the injured Alli, and Noble for the (obviously) injured Wilshere. Elsewhere, Kane, Rashford and Stones are all pretty tired, and if possible I will look to rest them for the final part of the game (if we can). Oh, and Clyne has served his suspension so has come in for Walker.

Okay, nothing more to say apart from COME ON ENGLAND!

Kick Off:

1 – I have just remembered that Dier is pretty tired, and he is pretty much our only natural ball-winning-midfielder (because I forgot Henderson). With Wilshere out that just leaves Noble as the backup… Let’s hope Alli comes back from injury sharpish.


30 – Yup, that’s right… 30 minutes with no action. We are struggling to maintain possession but are having the majority of the shots. Lallana is heavily involved but I am going to try to allow him to come a bit deeper. I am going to move Kane to a deep-lying forward, and try to get Sterling more involved by moving him to an inside-forward. Let’s see if that helps.


Half time.

Sufficient to say, it didn’t work. That may be the most boring half of football ever played. Here are the stats:

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Snooze fest

It seems Albania are playing an ultra-conservative style, using possession as a form of defence. I think the best way to break this will be not to chase possession figures and try to best them in that stat, but instead to play a high-press counter. Trying to force a turnover and breaking up their conservative passing. The obvious danger here is a long ball over the top to their striker, he is reasonably fast but not some kind of speed demon.

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A bit too much?

I have switched back to a 4-2-3-1 and changed Kane to a defensive forward. This is bold, but something has to change in this game, we need to take the initiative. My concern here is that this may be too many instructions too suddenly, or Dier may pick up a second yellow… I will look to bring him off if I can.

Okay, second half.

45 – From the kick-off, I like what I see! We force Albania very deep with our full-backs pushing on, forcing two crossing opportunities for Rose and Clyne. Albania have no passing options and are forced to clear long.


47 – The first big chance and it falls to Kane! He hassles the last man for Albania stealing the ball, he is one-on-one with the keeper and… The keeper makes an excellent diving save. Kane really should have taken that one. From the resulting corner, Sterling meets Lallana’s delivery on the volley, but straight at the keeper – better!


55 – Barkley will be coming on for Dier, with Noble taking over the ball-winning duties. With our aggression I was worried about Dier picking up a second yellow, especially with fatigue.


60 – Sterling has had a poor game, he is replaced by Walcott – I think he is better suited to inside-forward… I believe!


65 – Corner, Walcott takes, it’s whipped in and… PENALTY! Roshi (not master, Odiese) is judged to have pushed Barkley. Mark Noble steps up…

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1-0: Mark Noble tucks home

With that goal, all I can ask for is more of the same! We have been a completely different team in this second half. It’d be so England to blow this now… (A penalty goal… please no)


69 – Another penalty! Barkley dinks a free-kick over the Albania defence who are caught unaware, Rashford pounces, chests the ball and is brought down by Armend… Armend Dallku, who will now have to make… Armends… I mean… I tried. Although he can’t because that was his second yellow and so he has been sent off… maybe he can get the beers in for the rest of the team or something.

Noble steps up again, well I say steps up, he bloody darted from the half-way line, I thought it was Walcott for a second. Actually, here is just how much he wanted this penalty:

 

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He bloody wanted that ball.

 

With that, Noble steps up to the spot, having already dispatched one today. Will he go the same way?

ENGALB3

2-0: Noble slots home again

The run didn’t tire him out! Noble calmly puts the ball in the goal and completes the major scoring objective of football. He goes the other way this time and just like last time, picks out the top corner! England have a penalty taker?!?!?


70 – With the second of the game added, Kane will be coming off. His replacement, Callum Wilson, will surely be hoping to grab himself a goal here.


83 – But it is Albania who come forward, with their first shot on target of the game. Mavraj meets a free-kick with a meaty header, only for Hart to tip over.


87 – Walcott is found by a Clyne throw in, he turns, beats his man and lays off Lallana who’s shot is well saved.


88 – A nice interchange between Lallana, Wilson and Walcott see’s the latter get rolled through on goal. Not quite one-on-one, as he is closed down, firing wide from just inside the box – not an easy chance, but should’ve been on target.


And that is that! Full time at the… Samara Arena (Samara?). Mark Noble picks up the man of the match, my changes come off and England are through to the quarter-finals.

 

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Deserved winners

A lot better than in the first half huh? I can see why Albania got this far, if we hadn’t worked out what they were doing with that possession, they could have easily nicked a goal from a set-piece or taken us to penalties. We turned round the possession battle by forcing them to try to do something with it, and whilst that wasn’t the main objective, it shows how we unsettled them, forcing them into multiple mistakes such as the Kane chance, and of course the penalties.

Overall a good win, but I must work on getting us ready for the game, our first halves are always very shabby, and adapting on the fly is going to let us down sooner or later. Just takes one team… with a really good striker… a team like…

 

 

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Uh oh.

A team with two very good strikers, you might have heard of them… Suarez and Cavani? No? Well, they’re like Callum Wilson, but a lot better.

Uruguay is current world number five, so a tough team to be sure, but we knew we would have to face one eventually (although we played France already, the same France who just knocked Brazil out with a 2-0 win). it would’ve been nice to get a slightly less brilliant team, but I think we can do something here… at least try to, we can’t do any worse than the 2012 World Cup, can we? We probably can… but faith, faith in Mark Noble will pull us through.

And we will have to put that faith in Noble because Dier’s suspended…

Till next time.

England-v-Peru-International-Friendly

 

 

*The colours of World Cup News were chosen as an apology for calling Senegal, Cameroon all throughout the last article. I’m not that sorry, you should have less similar flags, but still…

Football’s Coming Home: World Cup 2018 – Senegal

After scraping through against Iran, we play Senegal with everything on the line. The group is tight, with us in the driving position on four points, France and Senegal trail with two points each and Iran are on one point. This sets up a situation where any team can go through and any team can go out, including us if we lose against Senegal.

Looking at the other groups, and there are some interesting placings. DR Congo tops their group with Germany second; Mexico topped their group with Spain second; Costa Rica, USA and Japan also topped their groups, so in some ways, a second-place finish wouldn’t be too bad.

That is all academic though until after we play Cameroon, so let’s see the team for today’s game!

 

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Can they do it?

We go with a similar shape and tactic to that which we used against Iran, hopefully, they perform much more convincingly. Clyne misses out today through suspension so Walker steps in, Sterling replaces Oxlade-Chamberlain and Alli comes in for Barkley. Keane and Stones are fatigued, but I have more faith in them than Smalling and Jones.

So let’s get into today’s game, I’m excited to see what we can do against Cameroon (who’s capital city is… Yaoundé… had to google that one…).

 

 

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Attacking!?!?

Cameroon seem to be making somewhat of a statement with their starting eleven – very attacking! Coupled with a combative midfield three we could have a hard day here. We will have to be careful not to get hit on the break with that front three also, as I suspect they will play direct and hit those front three quickly, and look to recover the ball in the middle. The obvious weakness is the full backs, who we can look to isolate and overload. The centrebacks are solid, and let’s hope Kane is on form to handle them.

KICK OFF!

Minute eight and we have our first highlight (and news from Iran-France, that Iran has taken the lead courtesy of a Pogba OG). Cameroon hits a long, direct ball from their centre back to Babacar, who knocks the ball to Gueye. The ball is kept well and a shooting opportunity opens up for Diame who fires over from distance.

We have struggled to keep the ball so far.

Senegal are getting a few long shots as Balde fires over – fifteen minutes in.

The twentieth minute, it is all Senegal. They have a headed chance, straight at Hart. 70% possession to Senegal… we need to change something. That change see’s us switching to a counter approach, and sticking Sterling to support, with us looking to play the ball out wide, as we are having no success through the middle. We have also switched to a 4-3-3.

Just before the changes have an effect, Balde works a good shooting opportunity, saved by Hart!

Another shot by Gueye is saved by Hart… I’m not liking this.

 

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Worrying…

The stats after twenty-four minutes paint a very worrying picture…

The twenty-seventh minute comes and finally a chance for us! We maintain possession before Walker whips in a cross onto Rashford’s head – Off the bar! This chance went down as a clear-cut chance, very much against the run of play. Oh, and Dele Alli picks up an injury in the same move… He will have to come off, Lallana replaces him.

Ten uneventful minutes pass before Diouf spins in the box and cannons a shot off the bar. Too close.

 

ENGSEN 1

1-0 England: Kane, out of nowhere!

Out of nothing Kane pounces on a mistake by Gueye and fires England into the lead. It was incredibly lucky, the game has all been Cameroon, now we must capitalise and take some initiative in this game.

HALF TIME.

Not sure what to make of that… 45 minutes of mostly terrible football, barely putting a passing move together, and getting battered… but we are one-nil up – football ey?

At half-time, I am going to withdraw Wilshere as he has struggled out there today and picked up a yellow in the process. Noble will be coming on, his leadership and work-rate could help us in possession battle.

KICK OFF.

A chance for Senegal as M’Baye crosses only for Diouf to head narrowly wide.

The fifty-third minute, and England win a free-kick, Rashford fires just over (in other news, goals for Fekir and Benzema mean that France now leads 2-1)

Nearly the seventieth minute and good work from Walker results in a cross towards Rashford, it is headed away only for Sterling to pounce and… Straight at the keeper.

A minute later and a corner whipped into the Cameroon box causes trouble, a scramble results in a chance for an unidentifiable England player, unfortunately, that chance is missed.

Time for a calm concentrate shout from the touchline.

The eightieth minute and Oxlade-Chamberlain is on for a tired Rashford. He and Sterling will swap sides.

Oxlade-Chamberlain’s first involvement sees him crafting open a chance for Lallana who powers a shot high but central, and fairly comfortable for the keeper.

And as time passes…

 

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Twenty Celcius in Russia?!?!

 

A good win, we slowly got more and more into the game after our goal and mostly limited Cameroon to long shots. But I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t worried for a large chunk of that game!

The change to a 4-3-3 allowed us to be slightly more robust in the middle and let us move the ball better, and whilst we didn’t win the battle for possession we created more clear chances.

Most importantly, we top our group, ahead of tournament favourites France, so I guess that makes us favourites – might as well give us the trophy now, save us some time.

As previously mentioned though, being top isn’t all ice cream and backrubs (what… that wasn’t what I… I’ll go with it), a lot of teams I’d rather avoid came second in their groups (i.e. Spain & France). Let’s see who we will be meeting next, and keep our fingers crossed that it is winnable…

And the lucky team to meet us in the next round is…

 

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I’ll take it.

Not to be too cocky about this (and this could easily come back to bite me) but I’ll take it.

France managed to get Brazil in a repeat of the ’98 final, so between the two teams from group H, it turned out extremely valuable to get the top spot. Other interesting draws include DR Congo v Spain and Portugal v Uruguay.

Next time out we get our first taste of knock-out football against Albania. Where could this end? A disgraceful exit at the callous laced hands of Albania? Or World Cup glory? Well, next time will get us closer to finding out.

Till then.

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